What Is This Stuff Anyway?

I AM THE PARENT OF A NEWLY BORN TEENAGER.








I'm beginning to feel more and more like the young child that squirms at the dinner table after her mother sets down a plate of food that she's never seen before. She looks at it, bewildered that she's even expected to taste it let alone swallow it, and wonders in silence how her mother could ever do this to her. And even after she gathers up enough courage to wash down the foreign object with huge gulps of milk, it still gets stuck in her throat and makes her gag, sometimes even cry. That's when her mother says, "See, it's not so bad. Why don't you try another bite?"

I'm convinced that my teenager had secret DNA hiding somewhere in her genetic code that disguised itself as a protein and made its appearance suddenly when one of her cells decided it was time to make new proteins. And once her mRNA duplicated that DNA and journeyed outside of the cell to find the tRNA, instead of the normal outcome of the bonding of amino acids for proteins, her ribosomes coded for teenage attitude and rebelliousness.

Yes, I understand that my teen is becoming her own person and has removed me from my high and holy pedestal, but my hope is that somehow she'll find it in her heart to be gracious during this time of increasing independence. I'd prefer not to have the daily pleasure of succumbing to the torture of feasting at her table since belligerence and sarcasm are not altogether very appetizing, not to mention having to develop the unsatisfying habit of washing down those extremely bland servings of seeming ungratefulness. They leave such an unpleasant taste in my mouth.

I'd prefer to take a rain check on the whole teenage banquet thingy until she's all grown up, but I know not of one mother who doesn't expect her child on occasion to take a bite of something unusual or never before eaten with the idea that it won't hurt her to try something new.

I just don't want to try something new EVERY day.

I miss those days on the pedestal.

She kept me there for so long.










I guess I just got really spoiled.



It's a good thing I took so many pictures of her over the years. At least I have something tangible to help me recall what life was like before her mRNA betrayed me.

It does make swallowing a little easier.