Once Upon A Time...

there was a mother who never let her children run barefoot because she was afraid they would step on a bee or cut their foot on something sharp...


and when they begged and pleaded and jumped up and down for want of touching something as simple as water with their stinky little toes...

she advised them of the perils of slipping on a moldy rock...

or worse, falling into the muck muck where they would have to be rescued by some stray dog walker who happened to be passing by. Heaven forbid she meet face to face with the muck muck herself.

And once upon a time, there was a mother who knew all about those nasty little turtles that swim below the surface of the pond...
where they lie in wait for unsuspecting ducklings that stray too far from their mother's protection and so become an object of "afternoon delight."

Once upon a time, there was a mother who felt exactly

like a mama duck...

and she made her children sit on a blanket where they would be safe from harm.

Aren't you glad your mama took a chill pill?